OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Small penises have feelings too.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
