Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
