I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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