I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
