There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
