remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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