Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just googled if crying burns calories
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
