sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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