I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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