Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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