billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
