Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
