I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.