I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize