Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend