walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag