sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said