Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?

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  (646): Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton? http://tfl.nu/taql
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (555)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out

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  (860): I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out http://tfl.nu/wth6
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (5459)
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  (760): View more from California

  He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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  (760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v
  Replies (26) Good night (10856) Bad night (967)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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  (204): Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments http://tfl.nu/8aia
  Replies (9) Good night (4425) Bad night (1306)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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  (617): the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos http://tfl.nu/3hab
  Replies (11) Good night (3754) Bad night (882)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

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  (435): Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters... http://tfl.nu/orhj
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (2675)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration

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  (313): Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration http://tfl.nu/0qdd
  Replies (12) Good night (2494) Bad night (1218)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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  (832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao
  Replies (9) Good night (3841) Bad night (804)
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  (714): View more from California

  im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

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  (714): im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats. http://tfl.nu/387j
  Replies (8) Good night (2433) Bad night (875)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.

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  (717): I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ow9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (634)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?

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  (256): i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime? http://tfl.nu/inlq
  Replies (12) Good night (2262) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.

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  (520): She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup. http://tfl.nu/0yof
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.

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  (816): TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN. http://tfl.nu/24ey
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.

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  (540): The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it. http://tfl.nu/w84l
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"

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  (801): You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?" http://tfl.nu/733m
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (203)

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