I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
