Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/3z5u

Replies (31) Good night (729) Bad night (2345)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet. http://tfl.nu/w01w

Replies (40) Good night (4426) Bad night (516)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday' http://tfl.nu/p489

Replies (62) Good night (2419) Bad night (24303)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low. http://tfl.nu/u768

Replies (20) Good night (972) Bad night (5818)
Favorite
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(780): This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it? http://tfl.nu/t3fk

Replies (9) Good night (2080) Bad night (589)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with. http://tfl.nu/kix9

Replies (9) Good night (1228) Bad night (585)
Favorite
(212): View more from New York

You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0

Replies (10) Good night (2626) Bad night (529)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind. http://tfl.nu/1wyd

Replies (9) Good night (1664) Bad night (477)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo? http://tfl.nu/6rh5

Replies (7) Good night (1284) Bad night (430)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait! http://tfl.nu/9r4q

Replies (10) Good night (2325) Bad night (447)
Favorite
(428): View more from

Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(428): Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale. http://tfl.nu/liut

Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (242)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on http://tfl.nu/xhhi

Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (430)
Favorite
(231): View more from Michigan

I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(231): I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS http://tfl.nu/xgon

Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (224)
Favorite
(915): View more from Texas

She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(915): She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex? http://tfl.nu/yio0

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (215)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined... http://tfl.nu/mic5

Replies (3) Good night (217) Bad night (718)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: