the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need a beard to bite.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.