Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
