You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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