Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
