If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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