Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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