Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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