did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
