im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
