You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
