ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
