Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
