i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
