is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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