dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
