My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
