Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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