He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
