The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize