I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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