Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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