Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
