i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
