no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
