Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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