There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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