I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
