whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
