Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
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