Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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