Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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