The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
