if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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