You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
