I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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