dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
