last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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