Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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