I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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