East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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