I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
