Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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