sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
why is half of my head shaved?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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