Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
