The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
two words: eviction party
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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