I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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