Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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