I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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