i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
