Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
