I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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