what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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