how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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