just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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