So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
