Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
